When you approach a woman, and it doesn’t matter where and whether it’s during the night or during the day, there will be 2 basic questions that she will be asking herself, in order to decide if she wants to continue talking to you or not.
Give her a good answer to these 2 questions, and you’ve passed the first step of pick-up. How do you answer those questions? By using everything we talked about so far: Your words, your body language and your tonality.
You are probably already curious, what are those 2 questions? Here is the answer:
Question No. 1: What Does He Want From Me?
Whenever somebody that we don’t know approaches us, we are trying to understand – why is he talking to us? What does he want.
Think about this: Why do you ignore beggars or people that try to sell you things on the street? And on the other hand, if someone stops you to ask for directions, you stop and politely give free information?
We will discuss this issue a lot in this and further chapters. You might still not get the full picture, but this is basically a very important thing, and it will eventually allow you to get women talk to you almost every time you approach them.
Question No. 2: How Long Is He Going To Stay?
Women (and people in general) are usually busy doing something. It can be just going to the beach, but still, when we get into a conversation with some annoying person, we tend to get pissed off. Women don’t want to get stuck in an uncomfortable conversation with some guy they don’t know.
Many women will just respond with “Sorry, I have to go”, or “I have a boyfriend”, because they suspect you might never go away. You must understand: You can be the most funny and interesting guy – But how can she know it? You just met!
Regarding the first question, there are many good answers that you can give a woman (again, you are not really “answering”. It’s all about your behaviour), then regarding the second question, the answer is pretty the same:
When you approach a woman you don’t know, you should make her feel and think that you are leaving “in a moment”, you are not going to stay. We will discuss techniques to do this effectivly in the next chapters.
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What Does He Want From Me?
This is in fact the most important question that you need to address if you want a girl to stay talking with you.
Before moving to the positive answers, here are 2 thoughts that are definately negative, and will cause most women to ignore you and maybe even give you a slap in the face
“He looks drunk and horny, he probably just wants to have sex with me.”
“He sounds like a real weirdo, oh my god, aren’t there any normal guys here?”
He Probably Wants Just Sex
I don’t know what your beliefs about women are, but there is one thing that I know: Women want and enjoy sex, at least as much as men do. They don’t show their real social desire mainly due to the social code, according to which women shouldn’t have sex as much as they want.
I know that you’ve heard all those stories that “Men want sex and women want love”. There is some truth in this (only a little) and I will relate to this in further chapters. However, women do want sex, and more than that – they need sex.
Anyway, there is another point to that I want to talk about here: Although women want sex, and sometime will be even consciously looking for casual sex, there mechanism of sexual attraction is different from the male one.
You as a man, can be attracted to a girl mostly by her physical looks (or more specifically, it’s usually her breasts, her ass, her legs, and sometimes also her face…). Many men can have sex with a girl that they totally hate her personality, just because of how she looks. Women are different.
The female attraction is based mainly on masculine qualities. A small part of it is connected to physical looks, such as mascules and height. But most of a man masculinity is connected to his male behaviour (such as leadership, decisiveness, etc.). We will discuss those qualities in further chapters.
What’s important to understand here is that when you approach a girl that you don’t know, most of the chances are that she is not going to be very attracted to you. Since you begin the interaction, your goal is to build attraction.
Because she is not that attracted to you in the beginning, you don’t want her to think that you totally into her.
A good thing that you want her to believe is:
(1)”He probably likes me, I guess, otherwise why would he approach, but he sounds interesting and not needy”. You see, if a guy approaches a girl, she will always suspect that he likes her. However, as long as she is not sure, and you don’t sound needy and tell it to her, she will probably stay talking with you. Especially if you are interesting.
Some other good beliefs about you that will make her talk to you, will be:
(2) “I think he is gay / has a girlfriend / not interested, but I like him”
(3) “He is such a cool and attactive guy, very confident. I know that he wants me, but I already like him a lot”
In some cases, the next beliefs will be good:
(4) “He is only asking me a simple question, so I will be polite and help him”
(5) “I have to talk to him/It’s my job”
(6) “How Dare he!…”
What is common to those 6 thoughts, is that the girl doesn’t feel that you want too much from her.